Soon to be ex husband is dating
This distrust often shows up in online dating profiles when you say things like, "no head games" or "no dishonest men." When you write those things in your profile, you're broadcasting on a billboard that you've been hurt and that you're distrustful.You'll scare away the men who have it together because they'll recognize your distrust immediately.
Another question to ask: Am I happy alone even without a man in my life?Deciding to take such an unconventional step needs to be done carefully since there are many ramifications for children and friends.You wouldn't want to get children's hopes up, and your choice can confuse friends who have accepted your accounts of the divorce that typically frame the ex-spouse in a less-then-positive light.If the answer is yes, then you're ready to get involved in a new relationship. The key is to find ways to release the baggage so it doesn't get stuck inside of you.But if the only reason you're getting involved in a new relationship is because you can't stand to be alone, then your new relationship may indeed be a rebound relationship. In fact, much of the time, you're probably not even aware of your baggage.And most of the men who really do play head games or are dishonest haven't admitted to themselves that they possess these massive flaws, which makes it likely that they aren't going to stay away from you just because you ask them to in your profile.
When you do get into a relationship after divorce, even if the guy is faithful to you and is madly in love with you, you may not believe anything he says. Because in the back of your mind, you'll have this ongoing chorus playing: "All men are just like my ex-husband. All men fall out of love and break up with you." It plays like a country song accompanied by an out-of-tune guitar.
Doesn't this sound uncomfortably similar to the fighting of marital partners as they are breaking up?
Negative Relationship Patterns Negative relationship patterns are the reoccurring interactions that form the basis of ongoing complaints.
This maturational process resembles what children go through as they separate from their parents and take responsibility for their lives.
Prior to healthy separation, teenagers often blame their parents for their unhappiness, feel like victims and angrily cite their parents' shortcomings (e.g., "they're too self-centered" or "they don't understand me") as causes for the problems.
Replace that chorus with something more melodious, something like: "I'm having a lot of fun getting to know my new man (or my date) and finding out what good qualities he has." With each man you meet, you want to start with a clean slate. Notice all the ways he is different from your ex-husband.